The crime of attempted stargazing

<- Attempting to stargaze

I have a mild interest in astronomy. I once owned a 3" cheap reflector telescope, when I was in high school. I could see the moon pretty well, and got a glimpse of the rings around saturn. But the tripod was so flimsy, that just aiming the thing at any other objects was nearly impossible.

Last year in Quartzsite, we had a friend in our Life on Wheels ring that had just purchased a small Meade reflector telescope with a computer drive for $200 from Wal-mart. I had dabbled with some free software called Stellarium which provided a map of the objects in the heavens, so I still had at least a passing interest. When I saw this small scope and electronics, I dreamed of pointing it at some of the more interesting heavenly objects. After all, the idea was: Just type in the name of a heavenly body and the computer would point the scope at it. What could be easier?

Well, it turns out that setting up these telescopes is even more demanding that setting up my Starband satellite dish. Essentially, you need to to establish your position on earth with the position of objects in space. To do this, the user must locate three or more divergent readily visible bodies which are dictated byu the computer in the night sky in order to calibrate the telescope mount against the view of the sky.

This is more difficult than setting up a satellite dish because the dish only needs to be pointed at one object, the satellite. I have tools that tell me if I'm pointed at the right satellite. When setting up the telescope, the user first needs to find Polaris, the north star (if in the northern hemisphere). Now, I can easily find Polaris when I'm in Minnesota on a clear, dark night. Just follow the pointer starts from the big dipper to the star in the handle of the little dipper. I never made it to Boy Scouts, and I can do that. But if you're in Florida, or Arizona, Polaris is fairly close to the horizon. And if there's a mountain, or a tree at that point on the horizon, it may well be invisible.

But even if you find Polaris, you still need to find other reference points. And like most of the amateur stargazers I've bumped into, that's not so easy. If it's a crystal clear night with few nearby city lights (and why would you want to try this under conditions other than that?) then there are, as Carl Sagan said, "billions and billions" of stars in the sky. Trying to find one in a constellation that you are not familiar with is difficult. Verifying it, if you can find it, by pointing the telescope at it via its motor drive is even more difficult. And, you need to do this at least 3, and preferable more times, before that computer drive is of any use at all.

Now, I'm willing to admit that practice will make this process easier. Just as I can find Polaris, running through this procedure a dozen times will no doubt train the stargazer to readily locate the reference points in the constellations. Learning how to manipulate the procedure can probably empower the viewer to skip a few stars in the process, if a mountain range prevents seeing them, and still arrive at a fully calibrated instrument. So far, I haven't met the person who has achieved that level of mastery.

It may also be possible that transporting these scopes all over the country in an RV complicates the problem. Setting up and calibrating a scope in your own backyard may be quite a bit easier, as you would have some constant reference points. Just make sure your backyard is away from a city. I'm also of the opinion that you should be able to locate three known divergent objects in the sky, and then tell the computer what you are pointing at, rather than the other way around. At least you have a better chance of locating a known constellation and its reference stars high in the sky than an obscure star you never heard of. Maybe the computer can do that. Maybe I'll never know.

The two fellows in the picture were found on a street corner of the campground in Collier-Seminole S.P. when we were there in early January. I got a bit excited, at the size of the telescope they had brought, about 12 inches of Cassegrain-Schmidt reflector design from a company in Norway called Celesta. I had seen the two guys a day earlier, driving around and around in the campground. Turns out they were trying to select the best available site to set up their telescope. And, they had a reasonably good chance of making it work from the small clearing their scope was set up on.

They had not come far, they lived on nearby Marco Island. From conversation, and the instrument, I'm guessing that at least the scope owner was fairly well off. They had succeeded isn setting up the scope one time previously, and they had been excited about the shape of the rings of saturn. This attracted my interest, too.

But they had inserted limitations into the process. I suspect that they had swallowed a few beers while they waited for darkness. Their breath and their speech gave that away. When I arrived at the corner, out walking Thumper in the wonderfully cool night, they were trying to find Polaris. A second major limitation was that there were clouds in the northern sky. Trees, too. Polaris was invisible. And it did not help that they were unsure of which way was north, and had no compass. I offered to go get one, which I did, and they discovered that they were off by about 20 degrees. Not that Polaris was visible, anyway.

I also got my computer, with my copy of Stellarium running. Turned out that the scope owner also had a laptop with a copy of Stellarium installed, and he was using that to try to locate his reference points by looking at the sky, then looking at the telescope. It didn't help. I couldn't help. We might as well have been trying to find our way around New York with a road map of Italy.

After spending about an hour hoping that these guys could set up the telescope, and then we could type in "Jupiter" and go see all the moons of Jupiter, I gave up. The scope owner said he had made a mistake in the setup, and had to start all over again. It was nearly midnight. The mosquitoes had not only found us, they had posted a notice on the campground bulletin board notifying mosquitoes in three adjacent counties about our location. They were no closer to seeing stars (through the telescope) as when I walked up.

One day, someday, I might actually get to type "Neptune" into one of these Meade or Celesta computerized telescopes, and actually see it. Or something. But it hasn't happened yet. Patience, Mahlon.